The dirt smudged across her cheek sparkles, and her girly fingernails hide the grit of a day well played. Today she has snuggled under a blanket and read aloud to her brother from a book called, “Warrior”. She danced to pop music in her bedroom and then built legos with her brother when he told her he was bored without her. She left her breakfast behind because she realized she hadn’t fed the animals yet. Out the window I watched her move from one animal to the next, dog, chicken, chicken, chicken, horse, chicken, cat, more chickens, making sure each animal received a bit of attention as she said, “Good Morning!” to each one. Eventually, she came in to her cold breakfast and part way through finishing she realized she hadn’t washed her hands. She joined in her brothers robot war game and played with hotwheels at some point this week, too.
She will kiss a fish right on the lips without a second thought. And the other night she came in and said, “Mom, I just realized these moments are memories I will share with my kids…how after fishing I always loved to go to the barn and watch my dad fillet the fish. I think I will remember the smell, too.” She hunts with her Dad, but I mostly think she wants to be near him…to make some more of those memories to share. She loves to watch Transformers and Marvel movies. If someone needs defended, she will use her words to take on any person of any size…she is a lion…with a heart as soft as cotton candy.
Because this is the truth of my daughter…she is messy and almost never combs her hair without being told…but man does she love a good bow with the right outfit! She loves pretty dresses, but she would also wear her brothers clothes to town without hesitation. My daughter is kind, she is thoughtful, she sees good in people when the good is hard to find, she can’t stand for anyone to be unhappy, she is a hard worker, she is creative, she is funny, she wants to try everything in life at least once, she is a loyal friend, and the best sister and daughter our family could have dreamed of.
She is a girl…but that doesn’t mean she is only sugar and spice. She is gentle and she is tough…and she is absolutely just. right.
He leans into the mirror as he carefully combs his wet hair to the side. He wets his hands and dips his fingers into the hair wax and starts slicking it over ever so carefully. I see him pull back and look his reflection over before he hops down from the bathroom vanity and spritzes his Dad’s cologne across his chest. He doesn’t really love the smell he tells me, “but I wear it for you…cause I know you like this smell.” He asks for help picking out his clothes for the day…sometimes…and other times he puts back on the same clothes he wore for the past two days. I hear sounds of frustration from the bathroom and discover him scrubbing his flip flops because he stepped in chicken poop and he wants them perfectly clean again.
He plays babydolls with his sister and when he does, he is the kindest, most loving and hardworking Daddy to his babies. I hear him kiss his wife goodbye to head to work and then I see him giving bottles and changing diapers when he comes home. He asked me to stop and snuggle him for a bit this evening, and sighed with contentment when he leaned into my side. He looked up at Daddy’s deer antlers on the wall and started chatting with me about his excitement for fall and deer season.
Later on, he comes inside with a brown and nasty cow tooth he discovered and lays it next to his lunch plate to inspect it while he eats. Today he has played with legos, and he had robot wars which he announced using words like, “he has been de-e-e-e-e-feated and his eyes have been opened to a spiritual awakening upon his great loss.” After the big battle he asked for some hot tea in his new tea cup, because he loves that tea set probably more than the tea.
Because this is the truth of my son… He is dapper…and he is dirty…sometimes a little of both. He is particular…or maybe not. He loves beautiful things and notices beauty around him…and he also loves to collect nasty and bizarre things. He is kind, he is thoughtful, he loves his family and friends unceasingly, he is a creative builder, he is honest about others and himself, he is disciplined about doing hard things, he is eager to understand and wants to know more, he is hard on himself but easy on others, he is the best brother and son our family could have dreamed of.
He is a boy…but that doesn’t mean he is all snips and snails and puppy dog tails. He is gentle and he is tough…and he is absolutely just. right.
Sweet boys and tough girls…do not let our world make you something you are not. Do all the things you love unabashedly, because though you were born male or female… hobbies and interests were not. Loving parents…your child is far more interesting than a set of societal boundaries. Give them permission to be kids…kind kids, life-loving kids, kids who are allowed to play without shame. Kids will be kids…if we will only let them.
