Our niece turned 15 today. She is the oldest niece (and only) on my husband’s side of the family. It feels like she went from a sparkly eyed, little four year old to a beautiful 15 year old (who outgrew me years ago) in mere days! How does this happen so quick? How do the days – that can seem so very long – turn into years so quickly?
I remember a time, before kids, when I never could have understood that a birthday really means more to the parents than it ever does to the kid! But as soon as you have your own, you get it. Every birthday is a reminder of all the moments leading up to this one. The moment that child was born or adopted, the cake smeared on their face at that very first birthday party, the giggles of a three year old when they are chasing bubbles, the smile of ecstatic pride when they learn how to ride a bike, the first time a friend hurt their feelings and they cried in your arms…they all swim around in your head, filling you with some confusing mess of joy and heartache and pride…and panic. How can this be going so quick? I’m not ready for this stage to be over! With every birthday of my older nieces and nephews, I feel an empathetic aching for the Mama and Daddy.
A child’s birthday is the perfect reminder of how fleeting life is and mostly a reminder of how everyday we make a choice of what matters. We decide if we will be hurried or if we will stop and watch their tricks (that they may be too cool to do tomorrow). We decide if we will punish them with prolonged anger or if we will pull them close for a hug and a reminder that our love will always be bigger than their mistakes. We decide if we will allow the opinions of others to determine our parenting journey or if we will stay true to the things most important to our family. We decide everyday if we will savor these days and years and hold on to the joy they give and not just the exhaustion and sometimes frustration. The thing about time flying by so fast…that’s what makes this journey so sweet. If the smell of newborn lasted forever, we would soon not even notice it. If the hugs of a 3 year old were always so tight, our neck would hurt. If the awkward years between 8 and 12 lasted any longer…we would all surely die. Am I right?
So time is our friend and our enemy and that dichotomy is what makes parenthood so very sweet and so very urgent. When it comes to “I love you’s”, always give more. When it comes to long exhausting talks, always stay up later. When it comes to telling your child every, single, stinking thing you love about them…don’t hold back. Every birthday is a precious gift that not every parent will get this year…so cry the tears and send up gratitude. This heartache is without a doubt the best kind to have.
Happy Birthday, sweet Addison Paige!
